From Father Steven - November 16, 2025
Dear Brothers & Sisters,
As we continue honoring the faithful departed during the month of November, I would like to speak about something that can sometimes feel uncomfortable or awkward—but is also very necessary: funerals.
This week, I read an article in the National Catholic Register titled “Why Are Fewer Catholics Having Church Funerals?” It noted that over the past 20 years, the number of Catholic funerals in the United States has dropped by about 30%. The article went on to explain that many families now prefer holding funeral services at funeral homes rather than having a funeral Mass in church. One of the main reasons for this shift, according to the study cited, is that families of the deceased are often no longer religious. They may feel uncomfortable going to church, or they may not see the need for it. At times, the person who passed away was a faithful parishioner who attended Mass regularly. Yet when the moment of loss comes—with the grief, family tensions, and emotional exhaustion that follow—families often choose a simpler service rather than a funeral Mass.
It is important, however, to understand the deep value of offering a Mass for someone who has died. From a psychological standpoint, it provides closure as we entrust the soul of our loved one to God. There is a beautiful prayer of commendation at the end of the funeral Mass, in which the priest commends the soul of the deceased into the hands of the Father.
On a spiritual level, the value is even greater. The sacrifice of Christ made present on the altar has immeasurable power. To offer a Mass for the soul of a loved one has a profound effect—especially after death. In every Mass, Christ offers Himself for the salvation of souls. While a Mass cannot change the free choice of someone who rejected God, it can assist souls in purgatory on their journey to heaven. For that reason, it is vital that we not only pray for our departed loved ones but also have a Mass offered for them. Additionally, the graces of a funeral Mass extend to all who attend—especially to the family and friends who gather in faith and hope.
A funeral Mass does not need to be complicated. In fact, simplicity often brings greater peace and focus. It is even recommended that each person plan his or her own funeral Mass in advance—choosing the readings and hymns, and letting loved ones know their wishes. This both expresses the person’s faith and eases the burden on the family, especially if they are no longer active in the Church. Our parish office can help you choose readings and music and answer any questions you may have. I would also like to mention that, technically, the words of remembrance is not part of the funeral liturgy. While the Archdiocese allows something brief at Mass, it is not preferable. The Mass is primarily an act of prayer and intercession for the soul of the deceased, rather than a time for praise or personal remembrance.
Lastly, a quick word about cremation. Until relatively recently, the Church discouraged cremation because it could obscure the sign of our belief in the resurrection of the body. Although cremation is now permitted, the Church still requires that the cremated remains be properly buried. The same article I mentioned earlier noted the growing practice of scattering ashes or keeping them at home. While these gestures may come from love or sentiment, our faith teaches that the remains of the deceased should rest in consecrated ground—together with others who “sleep in Christ,” awaiting the resurrection. The word cemetery itself comes from the Greek koimeterion, meaning “dormitory”—a place of sleep, not of death. If you have the ashes of a loved one at home, please contact us; we will gladly assist you in arranging a proper burial.
Here in our town, we are blessed to have three excellent funeral homes with compassionate and capable staff who can help you with any questions and guide you through the process.
I hope this reflection helps you better understand the beauty and meaning of the funeral Mass—a sacred act of love, faith, and hope in the resurrection.
God Bless,
Fr. Steven
