From Father Steven - January 28, 2024

Father Steven Clemence • January 26, 2024

 

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

 

For a long time, I have wanted to share with you some thoughts about grief and dealing with the passing of our loved ones. I would like to reflect this week over this difficult subject from a Christian, hope-filled, realistic perspective.

 

None of us like losing anything. We all feel sad for losing ten dollars, a key-chain, and some other small objects. We feel even worse by losing something that has some emotional value to us, whether a special rosary, a gift from someone special, or anything that is irreplaceable. We feel sad and it’s ok to feel sad, because we lost something valuable. Depending on the person, they can deal with their emotions in a controlled or an uncontrolled way…and sometimes it’s not even up to us to control it. Now imagine how much harder it would be to lose someone, instead of something, whether this person was close to us, as a special friend, relative, parent, sibling, or a child. In one way our Christian faith tells us that we should be happy for them, because their suffering has ended, we hope they are in heaven with God. Having that in mind, we can feel guilty for feeling sad or can think that it is wrong. Emotions are not right or wrong, because they come from the heart. Fr. Mike Schmitz in one of his videos, uses the comparison of the sense of smell with our emotions. We cannot control the sense of smell on the streets, whether it’s pleasant or unpleasant. It is not a matter of good or bad, they are just there. At times they can also indicate something about reality. If you smell fresh coffee it may be an indicator to wake up, or if you smell food, you know it’s time for supper. At the moment of death, our hearts can reveal things of a deeper reality that we were not aware of. Maybe we can come to the realization that we loved that person even more than we imagined. It can reveal wounds from past losses or grudges we held for that person that we were not able to deal with and we feel sad for that. It is ok to feel sad, it is ok to grieve.

 

We don’t have Christian emotions. We have human emotions. In the Scriptures we can see how different characters loved, rejoiced, wept, grieved. Depending on the situation, they were happy or sad. It is a natural reaction. Having said this, once we experience those reactions, we can also have supernatural reactions, those are God-given feelings. St. Paul exhorts us to grieve, but not like those who don’t have hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14). Because Jesus conquered death, it no longer has the last word. Everyone who dies in Christ will rise again. Then hope appears! A God-given virtue that helps us to look at our loss differently. Surely the death of our loved one hurts, but it is not the end. Like a bad smell that is unpleasant, as long as we keep breathing, it will go away. The memories remain though…and those can be tricky. We certainly miss having our loved ones around, their stories, laughs, smiles etc. However, they are signs from God to us to be grateful for having such a great person around us. We don’t care about losing a penny, because it is insignificant to us. That will not change our lives. However, the people we lose, they can be significant. They did change our lives. They gave our hearts an opportunity to love, and love is eternal. Then, we will also love that person, whether they have passed or have moved on from our lives. It is ok to miss that person, as we may miss our childhood friends, but God wants us to have hope of seeing them again, either in the mall or in heaven. And love is always stronger than grief.

 

Therefore, as we battle our emotions, let our reason and our faith assist in this struggle. Reason will tell us that it was good to have had that person in our lives, and we are grateful for it. Faith invites us to believe that their lives are not over, but “changed” as we pray in the funeral mass. Faith will also tell us that we shall see them again, when we also rise at the resurrection of the dead. Let us, then, make sure that we also go to heaven, lest our loved ones make it and we don’t. Finally, don’t be ashamed of your tears, because they are signs of great love. It’s ok to cry, but with the hope that we will be reunited!

 

God Bless,

Fr. Steven

 

From Father Steven - August 30, 2026

By Father Steven Clemence • August 28, 2026
Dear Brothers and Sisters, I was very happy that I finally had the opportunity a month ago to speak about vaping addiction among the youth. Today, I would like to speak about addictions in general that affect and hurt our families, parish, community, and, above all, ourselves. First of all, it is important to understand that usually no one likes to have an addiction. Substance abuse is not something a person simply chooses to become trapped in. Rather, very often, it is the only resource that a person finds in their struggle. The other day, I was talking to a social worker at the hospital about how we have lost so many of our coping skills. We no longer have the resilience that we used to have in the past. Addiction is often more than a bad habit or a lack of willpower. For many people, it can be connected to pain, trauma, loneliness, or an attempt to cope with difficulties they do not know how to face in healthier ways. Therefore, it can often be understood as a cry for help from someone who is suffering. Once we understand that people may turn to drugs, alcohol, or other substances in an attempt to relieve their pain, we also need to recognize that repeated substance use can produce real changes in the brain and body. A person can develop tolerance, dependence, and powerful cravings that make stopping extremely difficult. This is why addiction cannot simply be reduced to a lack of willpower. What may have begun as an attempt to cope with pain can eventually become a dependency that is very difficult to overcome without help. Anyone who suffers from substance abuse does not need judgment, but love and compassion. As Catholics, we believe that love conquers all things. We also believe that for God, nothing is impossible. Therefore, if there is someone in your family, in your circle of friends, an acquaintance, or even a stranger, let us go the extra mile and be compassionate. Christ does not abandon the person who is suffering. He goes out of His way to bring love and consolation, like the Good Samaritan. He certainly suffers with that person. If Christ does this for us, how can we, as His disciples, do anything less for those who are suffering? The more involved I become in helping people here in Marlboro, the more I discover the many resources available through the city and other agencies. I will try to pull together a sheet with different resources in the community and leave them in the church for those who need them. If someone struggles with alcoholism, drug or medication abuse, or some other sort of addiction, YOU ARE NOT ALONE…and YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE. God wants to help, and so do we. It is okay; we all have problems, and the solutions at times can seem so far from our reach that we give up. Maybe now is the time to get up and start walking back to the Father’s house, like the Prodigal Son. Maybe now is the time that, together, we will overcome the struggles that lead to addiction.  I invite everyone in our parish to join us for the Overdose Awareness Day ceremony here at the Immaculate Conception Church on Monday August 31 at 7:15pm. Let us come together to remember those whose lives have been lost (you may bring their picture), support those who continue to struggle, and pray for their families and loved ones. Always count with your prayers to you and your loved ones, God bless Fr. Steven

From Father Steven - August 23, 2026

By Father Steven Clemence • August 19, 2026
Dear Brothers and Sisters, I hope you are enjoying your summer! I, along with some of the youth of our parish, attended the Steubenville East conference in Springfield a few weeks ago. It is a 3 day catholic conference for high school teens to encounter Christ through eucharistic adoration, the sacraments and dynamic sessions all produced by Lifeteen and Franciscan University. The conference was attended by thousands of youth from all over New England with the hope to ignite life long discipleship in our teens. We have asked one of our youth to share with you a bit of his experience. Please see the letter written by Gabriel Torres below. God Bless, Fr. Gabriel ——————————————— Hello and Happy Sunday, or whenever it is that you read this. I am Gabriel Torres and I am a part of the youth group here, at Immaculate Conception. We, the youth, Fr. Gabriel, and a handful of chaperones recently attended a life changing 3 day Steubenville conference in Springfield. And when I say life changing, I really mean it. I thought the same as you, when Cecilia, our religious education director told us about it. I wanted to go, but was kinda doubting that it could be that fun and life changing, as it is a big statement. I thought that it would just be us, listening to priests talk about Jesus, and I would have gone for that, but it turned out to be so much more. On the first day after the first talk and mini worship concert (with a mosh pit and everything), we were asked to come up with one word to describe how we felt about the conference so far. The word that I chose was Connection. And I still agree, and I think anyone that went would agree. Just feeling the connection between yourself and the Lord, and how that connection spread between each signing heart was just purely gorgeous and fulfilling. Seeing thousands of youth come together and praise the Lord was inspiring. The conference was fun with singing and dancing breaks, with people trying to be as close to the music as possible, and games that got the whole center laughing, all the way down to the serious moments when the speakers were speaking the truths of our hearts. The way that you could just raise your hands and pray to the Lord without having to worry what others might think, but instead feeling the connection to those around you and feeling how through God we were all connected, loved, and worthy, brought tears to even those of us who ‘never’ cry. There was just a rawness at this conference that I have never felt anywhere else. So, if you are a youth, teen, or know someone who might be interested in this conference, I encourage you to come next year. If you have friends that are not fully in the faith, or are Christian and not Catholic, invite them. A Christian teen that I got closer to at the conference told us on day one that he didn’t fully understand everything we did or why, but that he believed in Jesus Christ and that he wanted to follow Jesus, wherever it took him. And that was here. Thank you to all who donated to make this possible, and thank you for allowing us to experience the Lord in a new way. Thank you, and God Bless you all. Your brother in Christ, Gabriel Torres