From Father Steven - January 28, 2024

Father Steven Clemence • January 26, 2024

 

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

 

For a long time, I have wanted to share with you some thoughts about grief and dealing with the passing of our loved ones. I would like to reflect this week over this difficult subject from a Christian, hope-filled, realistic perspective.

 

None of us like losing anything. We all feel sad for losing ten dollars, a key-chain, and some other small objects. We feel even worse by losing something that has some emotional value to us, whether a special rosary, a gift from someone special, or anything that is irreplaceable. We feel sad and it’s ok to feel sad, because we lost something valuable. Depending on the person, they can deal with their emotions in a controlled or an uncontrolled way…and sometimes it’s not even up to us to control it. Now imagine how much harder it would be to lose someone, instead of something, whether this person was close to us, as a special friend, relative, parent, sibling, or a child. In one way our Christian faith tells us that we should be happy for them, because their suffering has ended, we hope they are in heaven with God. Having that in mind, we can feel guilty for feeling sad or can think that it is wrong. Emotions are not right or wrong, because they come from the heart. Fr. Mike Schmitz in one of his videos, uses the comparison of the sense of smell with our emotions. We cannot control the sense of smell on the streets, whether it’s pleasant or unpleasant. It is not a matter of good or bad, they are just there. At times they can also indicate something about reality. If you smell fresh coffee it may be an indicator to wake up, or if you smell food, you know it’s time for supper. At the moment of death, our hearts can reveal things of a deeper reality that we were not aware of. Maybe we can come to the realization that we loved that person even more than we imagined. It can reveal wounds from past losses or grudges we held for that person that we were not able to deal with and we feel sad for that. It is ok to feel sad, it is ok to grieve.

 

We don’t have Christian emotions. We have human emotions. In the Scriptures we can see how different characters loved, rejoiced, wept, grieved. Depending on the situation, they were happy or sad. It is a natural reaction. Having said this, once we experience those reactions, we can also have supernatural reactions, those are God-given feelings. St. Paul exhorts us to grieve, but not like those who don’t have hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14). Because Jesus conquered death, it no longer has the last word. Everyone who dies in Christ will rise again. Then hope appears! A God-given virtue that helps us to look at our loss differently. Surely the death of our loved one hurts, but it is not the end. Like a bad smell that is unpleasant, as long as we keep breathing, it will go away. The memories remain though…and those can be tricky. We certainly miss having our loved ones around, their stories, laughs, smiles etc. However, they are signs from God to us to be grateful for having such a great person around us. We don’t care about losing a penny, because it is insignificant to us. That will not change our lives. However, the people we lose, they can be significant. They did change our lives. They gave our hearts an opportunity to love, and love is eternal. Then, we will also love that person, whether they have passed or have moved on from our lives. It is ok to miss that person, as we may miss our childhood friends, but God wants us to have hope of seeing them again, either in the mall or in heaven. And love is always stronger than grief.

 

Therefore, as we battle our emotions, let our reason and our faith assist in this struggle. Reason will tell us that it was good to have had that person in our lives, and we are grateful for it. Faith invites us to believe that their lives are not over, but “changed” as we pray in the funeral mass. Faith will also tell us that we shall see them again, when we also rise at the resurrection of the dead. Let us, then, make sure that we also go to heaven, lest our loved ones make it and we don’t. Finally, don’t be ashamed of your tears, because they are signs of great love. It’s ok to cry, but with the hope that we will be reunited!

 

God Bless,

Fr. Steven

 

From Father Steven - June 8, 2025

By Father Steven Clemence • June 6, 2025
Dear Brothers and Sisters, This weekend, we celebrate the Feast of Pentecost. We often associate this great solemnity with the coming of the Holy Spirit, the apostles gathered in the cenacle, and the tongues of fire descending upon them. While all of that is true, there is much more depth to this feast. To better understand its significance, we must first look back to the Old Testament, in the Book of Exodus, and then reflect on how this celebration speaks to each of us personally. The Feast of Shavuot—also known as the Feast of Weeks—commemorates the manifestation of God at Mount Sinai, where He gave the Law to the people of Israel. Through the Ten Commandments, God handed them a Way of Life . According to Jewish tradition, this was an expression of God’s love for His people. The Law was never meant to limit us with a list of do’s and don’ts, but rather to guide us toward true happiness and eternal life. However, due to Original Sin, we often mistrust God’s ways. We see anything that restricts our desires as a burden, leading to thoughts like, “I have to do this,” or “I should do that, but I can’t.” The reality is quite the opposite: every law of God should be interpreted as, “This is what will make me happy.” Take for example: “Love one another as I have loved you.” Only by living this way can we be truly happy and saved. The Prophet Jeremiah foretold that, when the Messiah comes, God would reveal Himself again—not by writing the Law on tablets of stone, but by writing it on our hearts (Jer 31:33). And that is precisely what happened in Christ: the Law of God is now written by the Holy Spirit, the third Person of the Trinity, who speaks directly to our hearts. Jesus promised that the Spirit would remind us of all He taught (John 14:26), and the heart of His teaching is love—for God and for our neighbor. The Holy Spirit gives us God’s love . This love, revealed in Jesus Christ, is new: it does not resist evil, but forgives; it prays for those who persecute; it loves those who are hard to love. On our own, we cannot love this way. At best, we can tolerate those who hurt us. But forgiveness? That’s divine. True forgiveness is not simply “letting go,” but praying for those who wound us—just as Christ did on the Cross: “Father, forgive them.” The Holy Spirit comes to give us this love. If we want to be Christians—Christ-like—we desperately need the Holy Spirit. On our own, we cannot love like this. St. Paul, in his Letter to the Romans, recalls Psalm 44, saying that we are like sheep led to the slaughter. And in truth, this happens every day. We all face moments, big or small, that cause us suffering. In those moments, we need God’s love, because we cannot carry the cross on our own. That’s why it is so important to ask for the Holy Spirit! St. Paul also writes, “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed... struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies” (2 Cor 4:8–10). In other words, this Pentecost , God wants to manifest His love for the world through us . So I invite you: ask for God’s help. Welcome the sweet Guest of our soul. Ask the Holy Spirit to renew the face of the earth through love. Ask for His fruits: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, modesty, and chastity. Only with His help can we become holy .  God Bless you all, Fr. Steven

From Father Steven - June 1, 2025

By Father Steven Clemence • May 30, 2025
Dear Brothers and Sisters, You may have seen news reports about immigration officers arresting immigrants in Martha's Vineyard. This is happening across Massachusetts, including here in Marlborough. While I do not wish for this letter to be political or to focus on what is right or wrong, I do feel compelled to share with you what is happening to some of our parishioners here at IC. Initially, immigration officers (ICE) were arresting immigrants with criminal records or those involved in criminal activity. Many people in the Metro West area, including Marlborough, were affected. When ICE arrived to arrest these individuals, anyone undocumented in the household was also detained. These additional arrests were referred to as "collaterals"—unintended, but still a reality. Then, around Easter, a troubling shift occurred: individuals with no criminal record, nor deportation orders, began to be arrested. Multiple parishioners, who have families, pay taxes, and have never even received a parking ticket, were taken into custody. This triggered a wave of fear within the immigrant community. People began fearing deportation to their home countries. Good, hardworking individuals—some of whom may have sat next to you at Mass, sang at the trilingual Masses, or volunteered to help with church repairs—started to panic. Daily videos of arrests began circulating within the community, only deepening their fear. Some lost their jobs out of fear of leaving their homes; others lost employment because their employers were detained. Many now work with the constant fear that they could be pulled over and never return home. As a consequence of the fear, the Brazilian Festival that we have every year, with 10,000 people coming last year, is uncertain. I want to emphasize again that this letter is not a critique of the current administration, nor is it about politics. My intention is to share the current state of some of our people. Numerous families have reached out to the parish seeking letters of recommendation, legal assistance, financial support, and moral encouragement. After being detained for up to three weeks, some were granted a court hearing where they were able to post bail and regain their freedom. Others remain detained. This is an incredibly difficult time for our immigrant community. Many left their countries seeking refuge from hardship, with the hope of building a better future for their families. I hope you read last week's bulletin, where Archbishop Henning spoke about the positive contributions of the Portuguese community in the United States. The same can be said about our Latino population. I ask for your prayers and support for these families. We do not know how long everything will last, and Marlborough in particular, but they are here nearly every day. I know some of the parishioners who have been detained, and I can assure you that they have done nothing wrong—other than trying to build a better life, just as many immigrants have done throughout the history of this country. As Christians, we are called to care for the poor, the orphan, and the alien. The parable of the Good Samaritan reminds us of our duty to help those in need. As a parish, we are working to provide resources to support those who come to us. Along with St. Vincent de Paul, who have always assisted those in need, we also need financial help to support these families. One case involves a person who was detained, leaving behind a wife who is 32 weeks pregnant, along with their 6-year-old son. Several parishioners have already stepped forward to help this family, but it takes a village. When you come to Adoration, whether in the morning (6:30–7:30 a.m.) or in the evening (6:00–7:00 p.m.), please pray for these families. When you pray your Rosary, remember those who are incarcerated. When you come to Mass, pray for those sitting next to you. Besides prayer, if anyone is also able to contribute to the costs of supporting these families, please contact the parish office. As Christ loved us to the end, let us also love one another. God Bless,  Fr. Steven
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