From Father Steven - January 28, 2024

Father Steven Clemence • January 26, 2024

 

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

 

For a long time, I have wanted to share with you some thoughts about grief and dealing with the passing of our loved ones. I would like to reflect this week over this difficult subject from a Christian, hope-filled, realistic perspective.

 

None of us like losing anything. We all feel sad for losing ten dollars, a key-chain, and some other small objects. We feel even worse by losing something that has some emotional value to us, whether a special rosary, a gift from someone special, or anything that is irreplaceable. We feel sad and it’s ok to feel sad, because we lost something valuable. Depending on the person, they can deal with their emotions in a controlled or an uncontrolled way…and sometimes it’s not even up to us to control it. Now imagine how much harder it would be to lose someone, instead of something, whether this person was close to us, as a special friend, relative, parent, sibling, or a child. In one way our Christian faith tells us that we should be happy for them, because their suffering has ended, we hope they are in heaven with God. Having that in mind, we can feel guilty for feeling sad or can think that it is wrong. Emotions are not right or wrong, because they come from the heart. Fr. Mike Schmitz in one of his videos, uses the comparison of the sense of smell with our emotions. We cannot control the sense of smell on the streets, whether it’s pleasant or unpleasant. It is not a matter of good or bad, they are just there. At times they can also indicate something about reality. If you smell fresh coffee it may be an indicator to wake up, or if you smell food, you know it’s time for supper. At the moment of death, our hearts can reveal things of a deeper reality that we were not aware of. Maybe we can come to the realization that we loved that person even more than we imagined. It can reveal wounds from past losses or grudges we held for that person that we were not able to deal with and we feel sad for that. It is ok to feel sad, it is ok to grieve.

 

We don’t have Christian emotions. We have human emotions. In the Scriptures we can see how different characters loved, rejoiced, wept, grieved. Depending on the situation, they were happy or sad. It is a natural reaction. Having said this, once we experience those reactions, we can also have supernatural reactions, those are God-given feelings. St. Paul exhorts us to grieve, but not like those who don’t have hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14). Because Jesus conquered death, it no longer has the last word. Everyone who dies in Christ will rise again. Then hope appears! A God-given virtue that helps us to look at our loss differently. Surely the death of our loved one hurts, but it is not the end. Like a bad smell that is unpleasant, as long as we keep breathing, it will go away. The memories remain though…and those can be tricky. We certainly miss having our loved ones around, their stories, laughs, smiles etc. However, they are signs from God to us to be grateful for having such a great person around us. We don’t care about losing a penny, because it is insignificant to us. That will not change our lives. However, the people we lose, they can be significant. They did change our lives. They gave our hearts an opportunity to love, and love is eternal. Then, we will also love that person, whether they have passed or have moved on from our lives. It is ok to miss that person, as we may miss our childhood friends, but God wants us to have hope of seeing them again, either in the mall or in heaven. And love is always stronger than grief.

 

Therefore, as we battle our emotions, let our reason and our faith assist in this struggle. Reason will tell us that it was good to have had that person in our lives, and we are grateful for it. Faith invites us to believe that their lives are not over, but “changed” as we pray in the funeral mass. Faith will also tell us that we shall see them again, when we also rise at the resurrection of the dead. Let us, then, make sure that we also go to heaven, lest our loved ones make it and we don’t. Finally, don’t be ashamed of your tears, because they are signs of great love. It’s ok to cry, but with the hope that we will be reunited!

 

God Bless,

Fr. Steven

 

From Father Steven - September 7, 2025

By Father Steven Clemence • September 5, 2025
Dear Brothers and Sisters, Next Monday, 9/15, the Church will celebrate the memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows. In this jubilee year, we are called to console the sorrowing. The intention of our 7:30 a.m. daily Mass that day will be for all who are in need of consolation. Loss is never easy. If a dollar slips from our pocket, we feel upset—more so if it is $20 or $100. When what we lose carries emotional value, the pain is even deeper, because it cannot be replaced. Those are only objects, yet they can cause sadness. How much more difficult it is to lose a loved one. Even when illness makes death seem inevitable, it remains painful. Sudden loss is harder still. Moments of grief can weigh heavily, like a storm cloud blocking the sun. Mary, the Mother of Jesus, shared a profound bond between her Immaculate Heart and the Sacred Heart of her Son. She shared His joys, but also His deepest sorrows as she witnessed His suffering. I once read an exhortation on the EWTN website that said: “If you are enduring intense sorrow, flee to our Blessed Mother. Take refuge in her Immaculate Heart, and implore her maternal consolation and guidance. For she who endured unspeakable grief will never fail you as your spiritual mother. As St. Louis de Montfort said: If you put all the love of all the mothers into one heart, it would not equal the love of Mary’s Heart for her children.” Here in our parish, we will begin a bereavement ministry on October 14. Meetings will take place Tuesday evenings (time to be announced) in the lower church. Using a Scripture-based program, we will encounter the healing power of God’s Word. We invite you—or someone you know who is grieving—to come and be consoled by the Lord. Humanity has reached the moon, explored the depths of the sea, and advanced technology beyond imagination. Yet we still have no human answer to death. Only Christ holds that answer. We must listen to Him, encounter the Risen Lord, and discover that death is not the end. I also recommend My Son Carlo by Antonia Salzano Acutis, the mother of Saint Carlo Acutis. She testifies to the power of Christ and how He sustained her through the sudden loss of her son. I have only read the first chapter, and it is already inspiring. Whatever pain of loss you carry, God desires to console your heart and strengthen you to endure the storm. We never fully “get over” a loss, but we learn to live with it. Yes, it is hard, but not impossible. Please join us for the special Mass on Monday, 9/15, for all who need consolation. And remember, you are welcome to speak with one of the priests if you would like to share more about your loss. God Bless, Fr. Steven

From Father Steven - August 31, 2025

By Father Steven Clemence • August 29, 2025
Dear Brothers and Sisters, Labor Day weekend usually marks the end of summer. Schools are back in session, traffic returns to normal, and we settle into our regular schedules. It is also important that we bring our spiritual lives back on track. After a long stretch of work, difficulties, and challenges, summer often gives us the opportunity to slow down a bit. Even some of our daily tasks get set aside during these months. We may travel to visit family, or they may come to see us. In other words, we step away from our routines—and our prayer life can also be affected. That is why it is so important to return to the practices we should live by every day. To begin, it is always good to make a thorough confession after the summer, so that whatever may have happened during those months will not weigh us down as we move forward. Missing Mass on Sundays or holy days of obligation (such as August 15th, the Assumption of Mary) is a mortal sin. We know the Ten Commandments (putting other things before God, taking His name in vain, not honoring Sunday as a holy day, dishonoring father and mother, harming others—even through actions, thoughts, or words—sins against chastity, stealing, lying, coveting another’s spouse or goods). Along with these are the seven capital sins: pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, anger, and sloth. These sins can become like extra weight that we grow accustomed to carrying, often without realizing that they drag us down and hold us back. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that mortal sin “destroys charity [love] in the heart of man by a grave violation of God’s law; it turns man away from God, who is his ultimate end and his beatitude, by preferring an inferior good to Him” (CCC 1855). The consequence is the loss of grace and love in our hearts. If mortal sin is not forgiven through the Sacrament of Reconciliation—which requires repentance and the firm resolve not to commit that sin again—it can lead to eternal separation from God in hell (CCC 1861). St. Paul warns us that “whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord unworthily will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord,” bringing judgment upon themselves (1 Cor 11:27–30). Let us take advantage of this Jubilee Year, in which God pours out special graces to be forgiven and to forgive. Here at the parish, confessions are available Monday through Friday from 6–7 pm, and Saturdays from 1–3 pm. If you prefer, you may also call the office to schedule an appointment outside these times. Or, if you wish, you can seek out another priest and arrange a time with him. What is most important is that we confess our sins and reconcile with God. We can also return to the daily habits of prayer. From the moment we open our eyes, we are called to praise God, as the psalms remind us. Praying the Angelus or the prayer to our Guardian Angel is a wonderful way to begin the day. Picking up a spiritual book during the day helps us lift our thoughts to heaven. At some point, it is also good to visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament—whether in adoration or simply sitting in the church—and to pray the Rosary with our Blessed Mother. The Chaplet of Divine Mercy is another beautiful way to stay connected to God. At the close of the day, we should give thanks for the blessings received and ask forgiveness for any failings. And of course, let us never forget to pray before meals. Whenever possible, try to attend daily Mass. It is one of the greatest opportunities to draw near to the Heart of Jesus. Not only does it bring us salvation, but it also strengthens us in our love for one another. Finally, I would like to share that I will be away for two weeks for some rest and spiritual formation. During this time, Fr. Gabriel and Fr. Victor will be available for any needs. If there is an urgent matter, please speak to them or contact Lee Ann. Although I will be away, I will continue to pray for each of you every day. God Bless, Fr. Steven